My neshama left my body and from above I saw my family yelling in fear because I died. Suddenly something like a vacuum sucked my Neshama and I flew upwards and while flying, I heard beautiful music and felt happiness. The further I went upwards, the smaller the lower world looked. I was flying like a rocket upwards.
I was placed in a very dark place, in total darkness and quietness and was all alone. The darkness was very very thick and if I had a knife, I'd have been able to slice the darkness. The darkness was very heavy and choking and I was able to even hold the darkness. It was a form of a punishment I never dreamed about. I was choking and yelled with all my strength, 'where am I? What is going on? Take me out of here.' A voice answered, "This is your punishment for being an egoist. You liked everything for yourself, never considering other people; therefore, this is your punishment. Here you can be an egoist, everything is only for you. Measure for measure."
After a while, I saw smoky figures flying towards me. They were very scary and white smoke was coming out of their eyes. They were yelling at me, "Woe, woe, woe to you" and I saw more troops of white forms coming at me, yelling. I tried hiding but they kept coming at me, surrounding me and yelling loudly, "Woe, woe, woe to you". I felt they wanted to hang me dead. Suddenly they all became silent and an old man appeared to me. He had a white beard and looked very beautiful. He looked so gentle and it was a real pleasure just to look at him. I understood he was an important holy man, a Tzaddik, because everyone was silent when he entered. He told the white smoke figures to leave me alone and I saw they were afraid of him and respected his wishes.
Who was this Tzaddik? It was my grandfather, Rabbi Yitzchak Tayeb, zs'kl. I asked him, 'where am I? What's going on here? Everything is so strange. Am I up or down? Am I alive or dead?’ My holy grandfather answered, "This is the world of truth - till now you lived in the world of lies and now you are in the world of truth."
Suddenly he took out his walking stick that he used to have while he was alive and grabbed my throat with it. It was hurting me so much and I was petrified. He told me, "You did bad things in the lower world. You ruined people; you put them to sleep with your discos and tennis. This is what you do to me? Huh????" I told him, "Grandfather, you don't need to yell at me, we are family, I am your grandson and you are my grandfather." He said that in the world of truth there is no grandfather/grandson. I asked him to remove the stick from my neck but he refused and pulled it even harder. I asked him if I was his animal and he replied, "You are worse than an animal. This is the world of truth and it's a very serious world. There are no games or lies in this world."
"You are in terrible trouble in this world; your situation is very difficult. Let's begin with the little things you did. You were sent to Talmud Torah and did you ran away from the school?" I replied that I never did that. At that moment, a gigantic screen was shown of me running away from the Talmud Torah. Again I was asked, 'did you ran away from the Talmud Torah and curse your teacher?' I saw that I had no choice but to admit the truth. I asked so what if I ran away from the Talmud Torah and cursed my teacher? They replied, "It was not just a teacher, it was a Rav - an important person! You must apologize to the Rav for cursing him!" I didn't understand why I had to apologize; I remember he ran after me so I ran even faster. They replied, "He ran after you to save you, he wanted to help you. He wanted to teach you the Aleph Bet Gimel Daled to prepare you for your Bar Mitzvah in order to do HaShem's will. And what did you do? You ran away, you threw it all away and grew up without it."
They asked me what I did with my limbs? I answered that with my hands I did karate, kung fu, and tennis. They said, 'this is what you brought with you to this world? Did you use your hands to give Tzedaka to the poor?" I replied that I don't know what is Tzedaka and was never taught this. They asked me if I ever helped an elder person cross the street, did I ever do any Mitzvot? I remembered that when I was younger I used to go almost daily to an old age home and talk to the elders. I used to give them water or open the window for them to give them fresh air- it was so minor but in the world of truth, it was something concrete, something worthy.
They knew that I did Bikur Cholim but they wanted me to say it - it is a form of pain in Shamayim. When I told them about this Mitzvah, they began speaking to me in a more gentle voice. I told them that one day when I was about 16-17 years old an elderly man placed Tefillin on me in the old age home and it felt so good and although I didn't understand the words and was only looking at the Sefer, it caused me to get very emotional and cry. I loved this feeling and didn't want it to ever leave me.
They said that because this was done with the right hand, the right hand will not get punished.
They asked, 'what did you do with your mouth?" I replied, "I know many jokes, I'm a comedian." The second I said jokes, the entire world went dark! Everything went back to the thick and heavy darkness and I didn't know how to turn the light back on. I yelled, 'what's wrong, why is it so dark here, I'll tell you a joke.' As I was saying the joke, I felt small snakes inside my mouth. I couldn't see them but felt my mouth full of snakes. It was so disgusting. I understood that jokes were no good and shut my mouth.
They told me that I spoke lots of Lashon Hara. Suddenly, I felt a big machine inside my mouth and was being operated on. I felt as if 1,000 dentists were working on my mouth and I was in tremendous pain. I asked, "What do you want from me?" They told me, "Listen, soon you will return to the world of lies, the lower world. You will not return the same way any more - you will not dare say one bad word, jokes, riddles, and lashon hara. You will be very serious." I immediately agreed and the machines and dentists were removed from my mouth.
They asked, "What did you do with your eyes?" I replied, "Theaters, I saw many movies, girls..." I wanted to show them my little black book and at that moment, the lights were shut off again. I was again in total heavy and thick darkness and I heard something like a long train shouting. I was petrified. It was someone who was very very angry with me and would not forgive me. He was as big as a train and he showed me only his face. I saw his face was gigantic and full of eyes. He came closer to me and wanted to rip me apart. I was petrified and asked what is this 'thing'? I was told, this is the world of truth and it's the angel of death."
He came very close to me, next to my face. He said to me, "I'm not the one to blame. It's your fault. You created me. You looked and looked and looked and from this I was created." Every one of his eyes was scarier than the previous one. I was so scared. I asked him why he is staring at me and he replied, 'I am staring at you the same way you stared at the girls. You created me every time you stared at a girl and I belong to you and you belong to me.' Measure for measure.
It seemed eternal the way he was staring at me and I was so petrified. Imagine your worst enemy staring at you and all you want is for him to go away, to leave, and to disappear. It was like having your worst 1,000 enemies staring at you, ready to tear you apart. The time seemed like 20 years.
I understood that I must correct my ways and protect my eyes. I realized that what I did was wrong and I thought to myself if I'm enabled to return to the world of lies, the lower world, I will change my ways. As soon as I had this thought in my mind, the angel of death disappeared but my suffering was far from over. Suddenly both my eyes were removed from my soul and it was sliced into thin thin pieces and it became like tiny pieces of papers. It was so painful and the shame I was feeling is indescribable. I felt like my neshama turned into powder and was being thrown all around. I wanted to die but I was already dead.
They suddenly returned the soul to me and asked me, 'what did you do with your ears?" I replied that I used to listen to lots of music. They yelled at me, "For music you did Bitul Torah?" They yelled extremely loud in my ear and I felt like a 1,000 microphones were inside my ear popping out my eardrums. My eardrums literally popped out and it was so painful. I remember this pain as if it just happened. The volume of the microphones in my ears is indescribable. They told me that the punishment is measure for measure. I went to discos and caused others to sin, this is my punishment and they will decide for how long.
They asked me, "What did you do with your legs?" Meanwhile, my ears, mouth, and eyes were simultaneously still suffering and I couldn't even concentrate on their question. I was so confused but knew that I had better answer the question. I answered, "I used to jog and run." They told me, "Begin running now." I wasn't sure where to run and they said repeated, 'RUN!' I began running and behind me I saw a large snake coming at me like a speeding car. His mouth was so big and he wanted to swallow me. I yelled that the snake should disappear. Instead, they told me, "You liked running so now run for your life because he wants to swallow you. Measure for measure. Running for nothing is not the purpose of the lower world and this is your punishment."
They asked me, "What did you do with your hands?" They said that they have a problem with my hands because of my fingers. They asked me, "What did you do with your fingers?" They told me that there are 2 people here that have major complaints against me. I asked who and it then that I saw my grandmother. She came screaming loudly, "Thief, robber, thief." I said that's my grandmother and they said there is no grandmother/grandson in Shamayim, here she has complaints against you. She again yelled, "Thief, robber, thief." They told and showed me how I stole a small piece of chocolate from her. When I was 10 years old, I saw in her refrigerator a small piece chocolate and Gd have mercy on me, I took it without permission and ate it without blessing it. I was shown on the big screen stealing her small piece of chocolate and eating it without a Bracha. They yelled at me, "Chuzpan - you steal food and dare to eat without a Bracha! Shame on you!! Your grandparents taught you to say blessings and what do you do in return? Steal from them and not say Bracha." My grandmother said that it's not her problem that I did not say a blessing, her problem with me is that I stole her chocolate. At the time, she was excitedly planning to give this piece of chocolate to a toddler but instead I stole it away from her. She said that I killed her and repeated it several times.
They took me to an abandoned home and I see people freely entering and leaving this abandoned house. There are many houses like the one I saw in the world of truth and inside them live lost souls and it's a form of a punishment. There is no floor inside the house, only dust and the souls walk on it. This is their home and I was placed in the middle of this house and I saw them walking in couples and all were coming towards me, surrounding me. They were yelling at me, "Thief, robber, thief." One of them I recognized because when I was younger and lived in the lower world, I took his girlfriend away from him. He was very angry with me. I recognized another soul and remembered that I once borrowed his pen and never returned it back to him. I saw a set of parents sitting like it was 9 B'Av. I asked what happened to this couple and was told that I caused these parents much suffering. I took their children to dancing classes and discotheques. And the pained parents cried every day and night worried why their children did not come home. They blamed me for ruining their children. They yelled at me, "Leave, you wicked person." They threw things on me, whatever came to their hands.
Suddenly, everyone left and it was quiet. I saw a distant light and it was very hot. I became hot, very hot. I went towards the hot light but it wasn't light - it was Gehenom! I saw gigantic bursts and flames of fire - it was about 30 meters (75 feet) of burning fire. I saw an enormous clock hanging and the seconds were ticking very loudly, boom - boom - boom. I understood that very soon at 12 midnight, they were coming to take me inside this hell fire. They were going to kill me and I am no longer alive. I was petrified watching the seconds tick away so loudly and it was so close to midnight, I wanted to die. I realized that I am a dead man and they have every right to burn me.
They asked me, "What did you do with your Brit Milah?" I couldn't concentrate because the seconds were so close to midnight and I was suffering so much. I was trying not to concentrate on the clock but rather on their question but I couldn't remove my thoughts away from the ticking clock. It caused me so much indescribable pain. They again asked, "What about your Brit Milah and zera levatala (seminal emission)? What about all the females you went with?" They spoke to me very aggressively. I understood that I'm in a terrible situation and there was no way I will be able to get out of it. They told me to get inside immediately because I'm Tameh (impure). They forcibly took me inside the room, it was a small room. Inside the room I saw a small angel with a warped face of a mongoloid - he was very scary looking. He said to me, "You created me and now I have the desire to rip you apart." I saw his fingers like skeleton and on each of his fingers semen was dripping. He told me that every time I touched myself and had seminal emission, it created this. He wanted to rip out my soul, to scrape my soul out with his dripping pointy fingers. He came closer to me and that was it. I was finished. I no air to breathe. I was dead.
I don't want to begin to describe what happens to a person that touches his Brit Milah! OY VAY VOY!!!! And oy to the person who is offered a Shidduch and refuses. He told me to tell everyone in the lower world, "Tell them that whomever thinks he has time, there is NO time, he must act quickly in these Mitzvot!" He told me that I must tell everyone and this is my Tikkun and if I don't act quickly to notify people, he will quickly finish me off. He warned me never to touch myself ever again and if I have a problem, talk to HKB'H. He warned me that every Shidduch I'll be offered, not to refuse it. HaShem will send me a bride and he warned me not to listen to other people's opinions. Do only HaShem's will.
He suddenly removed his black coat and I saw his body was full of pus dripping from inside his body. It was blood, it was red like blood. I saw sperm dripping on his body and he told me that each drop of sperm on his body is a baby I murdered. He wanted to come closer to me and attach all the Tumaa onto me and I shriveled in fear. I didn't want him touching me with all the pus, blood, and sperm. I knew that if this thing touches me, I'll never be able to live again. There is nothing more disgusting that this creature. I was horrified that I created him. I told him that if and when I will be allowed to return to the lower world, I promise that I'll make my utmost effort never to touch myself ever again. I also promised never to look at girls.
As soon as I said this, the door opened up and they took inside the darkness. I was floating upwards and I saw a distance light and as I was approaching it, I saw a circle of holy men learning Torah. It was a gigantic hall full of warm light and the Tzaddikim were discussing my judgment. I understood that my fate is in the hands of these holy men and there was nothing I can do. They were debating whethere I'm a Tzaddik or a wicked man. I became so crazed and begged them to stop but they didn't hear me. I saw 2 big angels stating I was a wicked man. I was petrified and I yelled with all my might, "I want to do Teshuva, I want to do Teshuva" From the fear, I began crying and continued yelling that I want to do Teshuva.
Suddenly everything stopped and I saw the most awesome light appearing and said, "I love you, I love you." It was Ishtabach Shemo La'ad. He Himself appeared. HaShem is so humble, so modest. HKB'H is not looking for honor. HaShem told me, (for those that can understand it) "Wherever you go, whatever you do, mention Me. Tell people about Me in your workplace, mention Me to people. I want people to talk about Me, to know that I Am the King and I Am in charge, not them. Tell them what happened to you and what will happen to you."
They took me to a black city - it was a dark city. I saw thru the darkness someone eating bread without first washing his hands (Netilat Yada'im). I saw gigantic angels coming at that instant to this person and they removed his soul out of his body and tore it apart. They took me to the sea and I saw a 30 meter angel that wore very strange clothing. He looked like an enormous king kong and I was so tiny and he drowned me in the water till it was no longer possible for me to breathe. He took me out of the sea water for a few seconds only to return me back inside the water. This kept going on and on. I asked the angel why he is doing this to me and he answered that this is my punishment for not doing Netilat Yada’im. He told me that my parents and grandparents taught and explained to me why and how to do Netilat Yada’im but I ignored it. Measure for measure. After a long time, they returned me to the world of souls.
I entered Gehenom and inside I saw many young boys and girls dancing while holding sticks of fire in their hands. I understood that each one gets a turn but I didn't know what is waiting for them. Suddenly a large door opened up and an angel came out, catching one of the souls and throwing him into the fire. You don't want to know what is going on inside, HaShem Yerachem. Yelling and terrible odor, sweat, and the soul can't take the suffering. I remember a terrible odor of excrement - boiling disgusting excrement. It was the most unpleasant smell to the nose and makes the soul suffer tremendeously. Suddenly they took my neshama and threw it and I saw myself flying and boooooom - it was terrible. I saw 4 angels coming from all 4 directions and they were hitting me hard with sticks. I asked why am I getting beaten up and they replied, "Sir, you will have children and if you will not educate them to Talmud Torah, you are finished."
They showed me what happens a person that damaged his Brit Milah, HaShem Ishmor. He damaged his Brit so much, blood started coming out it and it was very very painful for him. They said, "This is his punishment. All these pain and blood that comes out of his Brit will come to the world of truth and these are the babies crying. All the sperm that was ejaculated turns into angels of destruction and they wait in the person's grave till the person dies and they eat up his body. Every wasted drop that the man caused turns into an angel of destruction and each drop is counted for. Measure for measure. A person needs to think a million times before chas vechalila touching himself.
I saw a woman running in that black dark city. The angels of destructions were running after her and she was running in fear away from them. She was so petrified, her dress fell off and she was totally undressed. What does it mean she was naked? She had no Mitzvot to wear and was worthless, not even worth a penny. Someone who doesn't do any Mitzvot, even the simplest Mitzvah is totally naked. She was screaming HELP HELP but no one came to help. Suddenly, HaShem Ishmor, the destructing angels forcibly placed her in a black room and barbers were waiting to shave off all her hair. They placed her in a large blackest pot and the black angels in the black room with all its black walls beat her up because she caused men to sin. I saw she regretted all her sins but it was too late and now she was worthless. She was so black and shriveled - she looked like a piece of rag.
When I was 16-17, I put on Tefillin with an elderly man in the old age home, and in this merit, I was permitted to be taken out of this horrific room. When I came out, I kept vomiting, including my intestines. I felt dead, I was a dead nothing. My Neshama emptied out and I was dead. I cannot describe this - it is so awful.
I saw 2 Malachim going towards rooms and more rooms. I understood that these are court rooms. They showed me my holy uncle that suffered a lot in the lower world. He knew everything and I saw him going with the 2 angels and he proceeded silently to the second floor. I said to him, "Uncle" but he did not respond. The 2 angels closed the door behind him and stood over me. I understood that my uncle suffered in the lower world, he had cancer but he suffered quietly, never complaining. Suddenly my uncle yelled out "You shamed me, you shamed me." I asked him how I shamed him and he replied, "You told the community that I do not know how to read and you shamed me." From this shame, he did not return to the shul and missed prayers. He stayed in his house with his wife until his dying day. I realized I killed him. He told me that now it's time for my punishment and I began crying, "Uncle, you are my uncle. I used to come to your house." He said there is no uncle/nephew in Shamayim and now it's a soul against a soul! The 2 angels showed me the punishment for the shame of my foolish talking about my uncle. I understood that talking can literally kill a person.
They took me to rooms full of steel machinery. People were tied down tight to these machines and there was a large knife that slices a person like a bread slicer. The angles have plenty of time and they slice the person slowly. It was so painful to even watch. I asked them why I have to watch this and they replied that the pain I caused people from my talk is worser than watching people getting sliced. This punishment is measure for measure for shaming another.
I saw a tiny angel with a face of a dog and there were many dogs behind him flying like an airplane straight at me. It was like a war against me and they caught my soul. Their mouths were like a sharp needle (something like a concord's front beak) and they were barking loudly except it sounded like chickens. I cannot describe it. They went straight for my neshama and sliced me. I died. But the angels resurrected me again and I was crying, I didn't want to go thru this again. But again I went thru it.
Sometimes a neshama of a Sephardic needs to learns with a neshama of an Ashkenazi but the parents or the Rabbanim of the Yeshivot will not allow them to study Torah together. They don't begin to know how they ruin the children! And it also ruins the Achdut (unity). It's prohibited to separate Am Israel. HaShem is very angry at this and the people who cause separations between the Ashkenaz and Sephardic suffer a lot in Gehenom because they cause the children to suffer. Someone who thinks they control the world, suffers tremendously! I saw the suffering they go thru and they don't have Gan Eden, HaShem Ishmor. HaShem runs the world, not humans! HKB'H wants unity, not separations!
They showed me a woman who used to reveal her chest and caused men to sin. HaShem Ishmor. I saw an extremely large bear coming at this woman and he caught the woman by her breasts and hanged her breasts on steel pipes and her body was in extrutiating pain. Blood was coming out of her breasts and she was yelling in pain.
Women that wear provocative clothing, including so-called modest tight clothing that reveal the shape of her body, I saw how they suffer in the world of truth. She goes to gehenei Gehenom as well as the store owner! The Creator of the World hates immodest women! A person that sells immodest clothing is secluded in pain. There are many rooms for people that sell immodest clothing. In these rooms, they are secluded. They cannot move or speak.
Oy to women that wear these kind of clothing, those wigs, and think they are religious while walking the streets and showing strange men their beauty. And meanwhile, her poor husband is in the Kollel but he too will get Gehenom! Whomever does not believe, can ask me personally. I'll meet with him and tell him why he will be placed in Gehenom, r'l. He gave his wife permission to seduce strange men! Who gave him such permission???? First of all, he should abandon his Gemara and come home and clean out his wife's closet, the tight clothing, the revealing shirts, the short skirts with slits, the wigs. They are worse than the seculars. Shamayim told me this! A secular woman goes out totally immodest so she is unfortunate because she knows no better. But the religious women go out on purpose to attract strange men's attention. She walks the streets with her baby carriage and makes all kind of poses and her clothing are very attractive and she attracts attention, r'l. You see her body thru the clothing and you start having all kinds of imaginations. In Shamayim, this is loathed because it's obstructive. The Creator of the World is angry at this!
And the wigs they wear are a joke - they wear someone else's hair. And those beautiful big hats that seek attention. In short, whatever the woman wears that is conspicuous and causes men to look at her, she is in trouble - she is finished! A woman should dress like a queen inside her home only for her husband to enjoy and outside she should wear baggy clothing not to cause even one man to look at her. A woman who does this is a Tzaddeket! How dare a woman go out of her house with a wig or an immodest kerchief that reveals her hair? It's scary. In the world of truth, it's real fear, deathly fear. She attracts half the city and the most important thing to her is to be beautiful outside her home. In Shamayim, she will not be beautiful! Black angels will place her in a large black pot in a black room with its black walls and they will burn her because of her wig. She went out in the streets with a purpose that men should look at her, therefore, she has no merits!
I saw a woman that revealed her legs and for her punishment, they caught her by legs and threw her like she was a rag and they hung her upside down on steel pipes and blood drips down and she is yelling for help but there is no help for her.
For a person that hears Lashon Hara, they catch him by his ear and hang him by the ears.
I saw souls running to Harav Kook (zs'kl) begging him to save them from judgment. He walks them gently to Gehenom, suffering together with them of their judgment. He consoles them.
I saw people that had snow in their hands and I asked them why you have snow and they replied they are going to Gehenom and are taking snow to cool down from the heat of the fires of Gehenom. There is a place in Shamayim that snows and they steal the snow from there and in Gehenom they use the snow to rub on their bodies. I saw Rav Kook accompanying them into Gehenom and consoling them.
I saw people being buried and as soon as the burial is over, very hungry snakes and worms eat up the dead man's body. It's very scary. They come thru the mouth, nose, eyes, ears - it's truly scary and disgusting. Every limb that a person damages, the hungry snakes and worms have permission to eat it.
I was allowed to hear thru a hole from very far Tzaddikim sitting in Gan Eden. I was a wicked man and therefore, permission was not granted to come closer or to even view them. But I heard the happiness and it was happiness I cannot visualize. But it's worth to return to this world and to give up the path of sin just to be able to view this happiness. There was a thick wall with tiny holes and some have permission to view the Tzaddikim in Gan Eden thru the tiny hole. Just to view the Tzaddikim thru tiny holes gives the wicked people some sort of comfort from their punishments. All wicked souls that have permission to view the Tzaddikim regret how they wasted their lives on nonsense.
I was shown Gog UMagog. It was the scariest! So many planes were in the sky blowing up, there was no room for air. Thousands of planes all over America, England, France - it was a mess and very loud. The streets were packed with army vehicles and people were running in every direction. The world was violently shaking.
Suddenly I saw myself inside a Yeshiva and this was something new for me. I am sitting with learned men and I see that all the tables and their clothing are full of dust but the men continue to study Torah. I asked 'what is going on here' and they told me not to go outside but to remain inside with them. I saw that these men were very pure and holy and they understood that the end of the world has arrived. It's the end of the world! Outside the world is falling apart but they paid no attention, they were occupied with Torah. I understood that the Torah HaKadosha is protecting them. They told me that anyone who holds on to the Torah will be protected.
Shamayim saw that I wanted to do Teshuva and I understood that I must begin my Tikunim. They returned my soul back to my body and I found myself in the hospital's morgue in Paris. Thank Gd, they did not shut my box with nails so I was able to get out and I walked slowly into the hallway and was crying. Where is the Creator of the World? Where is everything I just saw? Everything just disappeared and I had no interest to talk to anyone. I wanted to go back to shamayim...
In the end a person takes with him to the world of truth only the Mitzvot he performed in the lower world. This is what the Creator of the World wants from us!
Watch the document video, courtesy of Bechagvei HaSela