Choose to Live...

Via Email:

I'm a strong believer in the eminent coming of the Moshiach.

I am now trying my best to change my ways and become a more observant Jew. I began wear more modest clothing such as longer skirts but yet, I come from a rather "modern" orthodox community, which unfortunately values materialism and dressing up more "provocatively" so to speak.

After reading additional Chizuk blogs, I realize that I am taking a step in the right direction yet still find it difficult to really stop wearing tight skirts, etc. What do you recommend? Do you think it is really necessary to go this far? Please keep in mind that my community are very much against what I am doing right now and I'm already being criticized....

Reply:

Your letter was very sincere and entered my heart. I feel your uncertainty but on the other hand, I feel your determination.

Truth is my friend, there are so many out there like you; women that blend together the barbie doll and yiddishkeit look...

I've also been there... I don't know any woman who does not want to look beautiful and attractive. It's a woman's thing to be able to be attractive, looked at, spoken about, approved by others, blah blah blah...

But when I thought about it more deeply (I'm speaking about myself, not about you), I realized that I want to be attractive, pretty, and accepted by HaShem and not by 'people'. How long am I going to live? 70-80 if I'm lucky, by 50 I'm probably not going to look good as I did by 40 anyways. This life is so temporary, is it even worth trying to break HaShem's codes just so I'm socially accepted? I mean, wouldn't I rather be accepted by HKB'H, the Malachim, Tzaddikim, GAN EDEN????

Then I started to really think about our Foremothers - and Devorah HaNevia, a'h, and thought to myself - did they wear tight fitting clothing, did they flaunt their fake hairs? NO. Are they someone I would like to be, or c'v, are my 'heros' girls like angelina joline - who steals a husband from his wife.

When I came to the conclusion that I'd like to start to behave like Sara Imenu, a'h, I realized I must give up fake hair, fake nails, fake modesty with slits...

I find that the more I 'give up' the LIES, the more HKB'H pulls me closer to Him and there is NOTHING more delicious than this...

My friends also laugh at me but it's clear to me that I've become a threat to them. I'll explain: I choose to go in the path of HaShem and they are feeling stuck behind with their little toys. Deep down inside, they KNOW that the path of HaShem is the truth but because they are stuck in their marble floors and jacuzzi's... they feel threatened that they cannot let go of their toys and are stuck in this Olam's materialism, which includes inviting Goyim to their homes thru TV, movies, etc. and this only causes them to feel more threatened in their "comfortably-numb" world...

From experience, I know that when using american-given name and not using your holy hebrew name - this holds back from having the needed strength from Shamayim to make your will HaShem's will. A Jewish name says a lot and has powers to help the person. Shamayim does not recognize any Jane, Anne, Cynthia, Maria or Robert, John, Mark, etc.

When you set your mind to think clearly and correctly, everything else comes easily. When you realize what HaShem wants from YOU, it's not going to matter that your friends are giving you a hard time cuz bottom line, your family/friends are not going to be able to save themselves or you from Gehenom... There are no Goyim in Gehenom - it was specifically made only for JEWS!!! Just as Gan Eden was created only for JEWS!

Once we finish our physical life in this Olam, in Shamayim there is no connection (bond) to family members or friends from earth. The only time a person sees a family member or a freind after death is in the Heavenly Court... The souls that were connected in the lower world have no acknowledgment of one another in the upper worlds.

Sometimes, the Sitra Achra comes dressed as a friend to cause you confusion and dictate to you to live your life as a liberal woman and not as a princess, the daughter of King of all Kings.

It's not easy in this dark, confused world. But know that HaShem rules and not us.

העידתי בכם היום את השמים ואת הארץ החיים והמות נתתי לפניך הברכה והקללה ובחרת בחיים למען תחיה אתה וזרעך׃
Deuteronomy 30:19
I call on heaven and earth as witnesses today that I have offered you life or death, blessings or curses. Choose life so that you and your descendants will live.

Choose to be free.... Choose to live...