Journey to HaShem

Hello. My name is Nava and I want to start "blogging" dreams I'm having of Moshiach among other spiritual messages I'm receiving from Shamayim.[+/-] show/hide text
I am a simple Jew and love HaShem so much and constantly remind myself that I'm nothing and trying to master cancelling my will. To accept everything HaShem asks of us and to do so with my whole being. It's hard work because I have "wants" but try to cancel it to serve HaShem לשם שמים, with happiness and love for HaShem.

I was born in Israel, lived in Canada and now in NY. I did Tshuva in NY - it took over 20 years because I could not find (actually, did not search) a Rabbi or a spiritual guide. I went thru 7 gates of hell till I finally "woke up".

Actually, the person who "woke" me up was a 7 year old autistic boy named Chaim. Thru an FC, he told me that HaShem is waiting for me p-a-t-i-e-n-t-l-y to accept Ol Malchut Shamayim. I asked what is that and he told me when I "return", I'll know what it is and love it. He also told me that I have much Zchut Avot and they will help me if I help myself. I did not know what he meant Zchut Avot. I didn't ask either. He told me to start saying Perek Kaf (20) Tehillim daily and this will give me a "boost".

I don't know why, but when I came home, I cried so much and felt so lost. I took a Tehillim Sefer and turned to Perek Kaf and said it over and over and over again, in between the tears. A few days later, I purchased longer skirts (threw out pants and minis) and my journey began.

It was during that time that I had my first spiritual dream. The Lubavitch Rebbe zs'l appeared in my dream and told me to come to the Ohel where he is buried and bring him an Etrog that is Kosher and Mehudar. I ignored the dream being that it was December at the time and there are no Etrogim to be found. He returned again the second time and repeated his request . I turned to the other side to continue sleeping. He came a third time and now he had my attention. He repeated his request the third time and seeing that he keeps coming back, I asked him where am I going to get an Etrog in December? He told me to go to a market and there, a person will approach me and ask me if I would like to purchase an Etrog Kosher and mehudar and this is the Etrog I should purchase and bring it to the Ohel, where he is buried. I woke up and looked at the clock - it was 6 am Sunday morning. I didn't go to the market but the following day went to the Ohel of the Lubavitch Rebbe zs'l and davened. I have been going there weekly, once a week, ever since - 4 years ago. I've yet to bring the Rebbe an Etrog Kosher and Mehudar...

During my journey of Tshuva, I learned what is Ol Malchut Shamayim and Zchut Avot. My grandmother (may she live to greet Moshiach, amen) told me that we are descendants of many Tzaddikim. As my return to HaShem was getting stronger, chasdei HaShem, the dreams got more powerful.